Posts
Friday, May 11, 2012
Mixed Emotions
I'm feeling pretty certain that my current chapter is quickly approaching the final page. This is incredibly exciting, but terrifying and emotionally difficult all at the same time.
It is going to be emotional to move on ... I'm ready, its time. It's been time for a while now. But that doesn't mean it will be easy! I've been on this chapter for a while now and have built some solid relationships. The idea of having to end some of these is causing the most emotions ... It is going to be very hard and I know it will also be difficult for some who it took a lot to lower their walls & let me in. I dread those goodbyes a lot. It is going to hurt for me too.
I'm rambling, but I'm a big swirling mass of emotions about all this and just trying to make sense of it & put it all in order!
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Big Decisions Dead Ahead
I want to pursue a graduate degree and picking schools to apply to is such a BIG DECISION!!!!
Do I do it by distance or in class?
Which school is the best fit?
Do I meet the program requirements?
Can I afford to do it?
There is one school in particular that I would like to go to, but the competition is fierce ... and so I will apply to multiple schools, but figuring out which ones beyond THE ONE is proving challenging.
I know my GPA is good, my references rock and I have lots of practical experience ... But the schools I'm looking at are uber competitive and finding the right fit for me does not guarantee I'll get accepted to the program.
I've put some money away for it, but I know I will need to apply for scholarships/bursaries and work throughout (unless I win the lottery). So it will likely take me two years (or more) to complete. It's a huge financial commitment and unless I do it by distance, will involve a major move.
I'm excited to start this next chapter -- September 2013 -- but at the same time this is such a big decision!
Do I do it by distance or in class?
Which school is the best fit?
Do I meet the program requirements?
Can I afford to do it?
There is one school in particular that I would like to go to, but the competition is fierce ... and so I will apply to multiple schools, but figuring out which ones beyond THE ONE is proving challenging.
I know my GPA is good, my references rock and I have lots of practical experience ... But the schools I'm looking at are uber competitive and finding the right fit for me does not guarantee I'll get accepted to the program.
I've put some money away for it, but I know I will need to apply for scholarships/bursaries and work throughout (unless I win the lottery). So it will likely take me two years (or more) to complete. It's a huge financial commitment and unless I do it by distance, will involve a major move.
I'm excited to start this next chapter -- September 2013 -- but at the same time this is such a big decision!
Friday, March 16, 2012
Hands
Today I am writing without any prompts!
Have you ever really taken the time to look at your hands?!? They are pretty darn amazing ... All the lines & squiggles, scars & freckles, little hairs, nails ... They are so intricate and can do some pretty amazing things!
I have broken my pointer, middle & ring fingers on both my hands, some numerous times. I have a floating piece of bone in one ... I had a ganglion scraped off my tendon, which was trying to cut if off. I have broken my right wrist & sprained both numerous times ... And yet my hands perservere.
Every scar on my hands tell a story -- the time I was cooking on a boat & burned myself badly when it pitched hard, what an adventure that Spring Break was! The time I closed a sharp jacknife on my finger (definitely one of my 'sharper' moments). My surgery & the tiny little bumps where the stitches were. Every bump & line tells one too -- the writing bump on my ring finger, where I strangely hold my pen (no matter how much anyone tried to correct it). The tiny freckles on my right arm, that remind me where my faded burn scar is ...
I think hands, and not just my own, are fascinating. They tell a story about the person who wears them, about their life and the things they have done. If I was an artistic I think I would draw or paint or sculpt hands!
Have you looked at your own hands lately? What stories do they tell?
Have you ever really taken the time to look at your hands?!? They are pretty darn amazing ... All the lines & squiggles, scars & freckles, little hairs, nails ... They are so intricate and can do some pretty amazing things!
I have broken my pointer, middle & ring fingers on both my hands, some numerous times. I have a floating piece of bone in one ... I had a ganglion scraped off my tendon, which was trying to cut if off. I have broken my right wrist & sprained both numerous times ... And yet my hands perservere.
Every scar on my hands tell a story -- the time I was cooking on a boat & burned myself badly when it pitched hard, what an adventure that Spring Break was! The time I closed a sharp jacknife on my finger (definitely one of my 'sharper' moments). My surgery & the tiny little bumps where the stitches were. Every bump & line tells one too -- the writing bump on my ring finger, where I strangely hold my pen (no matter how much anyone tried to correct it). The tiny freckles on my right arm, that remind me where my faded burn scar is ...
I think hands, and not just my own, are fascinating. They tell a story about the person who wears them, about their life and the things they have done. If I was an artistic I think I would draw or paint or sculpt hands!
Have you looked at your own hands lately? What stories do they tell?
Sunday, March 04, 2012
Chess
Using another writing prompt today ...
What is my fave chess piece:
I love, love, love chess! I play it all the time - it makes my geeky side happy :) I can be pretty analytical and I enjoy the strategy aspect of the game. The board and winning is like a puzzle needing to be solved. I am always thinking ahead several moves and trying to figure out what my opponent might do. It's a game that definitely gives your mind a work out. I own several sets ...
My fave piece is and always has been The Knight!
Compared to the other pieces, it moves in a less predictable pattern. It does not go in a straight line. It can cross or jump over other pieces, something no other piece can do. I think most people don't utilize their knight or horse piece as much as they could for these reasons, but that just makes me love it more! If someone takes my queen, a bishop or a rook, I'm bummed, but as long as I still have a knight I'm confident I can take the game.
The other piece I like the most represents the little guy - The Pawn.
I think the pawn has a bad rep and is so undervalued. Sure, it can only move one space at a time and isn't very exciting, but when you lose pieces it is the ONLY one that can bring them back to life! And for that reason, the pawn is quite powerful and deserves more credit than it is given.
I would really love to build my own chess set, using clay and create my own board out of wood and tiles. I think that would be a fun creative project! One day I will make this a reality :)
What is my fave chess piece:
I love, love, love chess! I play it all the time - it makes my geeky side happy :) I can be pretty analytical and I enjoy the strategy aspect of the game. The board and winning is like a puzzle needing to be solved. I am always thinking ahead several moves and trying to figure out what my opponent might do. It's a game that definitely gives your mind a work out. I own several sets ...
My fave piece is and always has been The Knight!
Compared to the other pieces, it moves in a less predictable pattern. It does not go in a straight line. It can cross or jump over other pieces, something no other piece can do. I think most people don't utilize their knight or horse piece as much as they could for these reasons, but that just makes me love it more! If someone takes my queen, a bishop or a rook, I'm bummed, but as long as I still have a knight I'm confident I can take the game.
The other piece I like the most represents the little guy - The Pawn.
I think the pawn has a bad rep and is so undervalued. Sure, it can only move one space at a time and isn't very exciting, but when you lose pieces it is the ONLY one that can bring them back to life! And for that reason, the pawn is quite powerful and deserves more credit than it is given.
I would really love to build my own chess set, using clay and create my own board out of wood and tiles. I think that would be a fun creative project! One day I will make this a reality :)
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Smooches
Because I'm home feeling yucky today, I am posting again using these writing prompts. Today's post is all about my first kiss ...
My first 'real' kiss was with Kevin. Brad (my first boyfriend) and I had kissed before that, but we just smooched each other on the cheek or the lips. But Kevin, that was different. He was a year older and I thought he was amazing. I was so in love with him. He lived in the town beside mine and my older sister dropped me off to visit with him (by myself, I felt so grown up). It happened when he walked me back to get picked up, he held my hand the whole way and we talked about our likes & dislikes. Then we sat on the stairs together, waiting, both staring at each other in an awkward kind of way. Me wondering if he was going to kiss me and hoping he would, him probably trying to decide if he wanted to kiss me or maybe working up the courage to do it. Obviously, you guessed that he did, he was my first ever 'French' kiss ...
And I thought it was the most disgusting thing ever!!! He took me by surprise and didn't work up to it, just shoved his tongue in my mouth. I had no idea that people kissed like that - I was young I thought people just smooshed their lips together, like I had done before. I nearly threw up in my mouth, no joke. It was awkward and I avoided kissing with him after that. We broke up shortly after ...
This is all really funny to me now, I was so very innocent!
My first 'real' kiss was with Kevin. Brad (my first boyfriend) and I had kissed before that, but we just smooched each other on the cheek or the lips. But Kevin, that was different. He was a year older and I thought he was amazing. I was so in love with him. He lived in the town beside mine and my older sister dropped me off to visit with him (by myself, I felt so grown up). It happened when he walked me back to get picked up, he held my hand the whole way and we talked about our likes & dislikes. Then we sat on the stairs together, waiting, both staring at each other in an awkward kind of way. Me wondering if he was going to kiss me and hoping he would, him probably trying to decide if he wanted to kiss me or maybe working up the courage to do it. Obviously, you guessed that he did, he was my first ever 'French' kiss ...
And I thought it was the most disgusting thing ever!!! He took me by surprise and didn't work up to it, just shoved his tongue in my mouth. I had no idea that people kissed like that - I was young I thought people just smooshed their lips together, like I had done before. I nearly threw up in my mouth, no joke. It was awkward and I avoided kissing with him after that. We broke up shortly after ...
This is all really funny to me now, I was so very innocent!
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Useless?
Continuing to try these writing prompts - Hopefully going to keep this up weekly until I can just write again without :)
Today's topic is "something totally useless that I possess and how I acquired it" ...
Hmmmmm ... I prolly have lots of 'useless' things around! I'm sure I have more than one useless kitchen gadget in my drawer, that either I picked up because I thought it would be so handy or was given to me as a gift. Like ... ummm ... a tupperware orange peeler! I think I actually was given it at a tupperware party and I never use it. Yet it still sits in my drawer with my other kitchen gadgets. I prefer to just cut my oranges into wedges and then eat the flesh off of the peel. And I eat a lot of oranges - I try to eat them every day through the winter especially. I don't think I've even used an orange peeler since I was a little kid :)
What else ... Being crafty, I have all sorts of odds & ends, pits of this and that, that I save for crafty projects. I'm sure if I went through my craft bin I could likely throw a bunch of it away ... but you never know when some thingy-ma-bob might be the perfect thing for what you're making. I save all sorts of strange things!
I have some single socks in my sock drawer - I make new pairs out of them. Sometimes they're singles because their mate got worn out and sometimes its because the washing machine monsters ate one. Honestly, I don't really care if my socks match. As long as they're the same height and texture I'm good to go! A couple of weeks ago I made a rice bag out of one - I needed a smaller rice bag that would fit on my ear, when I had an ear infection. Worked like a charm :)
I have a collection of cobalt blue glass bottles & such that I've picked up over the years. Some come from antique stores, others junk shops, others were given to me by someone who knew I liked them. They serve absolutely no purpose, other than giving me something else to have to dust. I think they're pretty and look forward to one day having a place where I have room to properly display them.
What kind of useless things do you have?
Today's topic is "something totally useless that I possess and how I acquired it" ...
Hmmmmm ... I prolly have lots of 'useless' things around! I'm sure I have more than one useless kitchen gadget in my drawer, that either I picked up because I thought it would be so handy or was given to me as a gift. Like ... ummm ... a tupperware orange peeler! I think I actually was given it at a tupperware party and I never use it. Yet it still sits in my drawer with my other kitchen gadgets. I prefer to just cut my oranges into wedges and then eat the flesh off of the peel. And I eat a lot of oranges - I try to eat them every day through the winter especially. I don't think I've even used an orange peeler since I was a little kid :)
What else ... Being crafty, I have all sorts of odds & ends, pits of this and that, that I save for crafty projects. I'm sure if I went through my craft bin I could likely throw a bunch of it away ... but you never know when some thingy-ma-bob might be the perfect thing for what you're making. I save all sorts of strange things!
I have some single socks in my sock drawer - I make new pairs out of them. Sometimes they're singles because their mate got worn out and sometimes its because the washing machine monsters ate one. Honestly, I don't really care if my socks match. As long as they're the same height and texture I'm good to go! A couple of weeks ago I made a rice bag out of one - I needed a smaller rice bag that would fit on my ear, when I had an ear infection. Worked like a charm :)
I have a collection of cobalt blue glass bottles & such that I've picked up over the years. Some come from antique stores, others junk shops, others were given to me by someone who knew I liked them. They serve absolutely no purpose, other than giving me something else to have to dust. I think they're pretty and look forward to one day having a place where I have room to properly display them.
What kind of useless things do you have?
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Hard Reminder
Okay, I admit it ... I'm a gleek. I like the show. I like that they tackle some tough issues. But tonight I wasn't really prepared for tonight's episode. It kinda hit me like a tonne of bricks.
It was just two years ago that I lost someone very special to me. I called him my little brother and in my heart he was just that. I remember how obnoxious I thought he was, the first time I met him at a youth conference. He was loud, he was boastful, he was truly obnoxious! But he grew on me and even two years later I am still struggling to wrap my brain around how things hurt so bad for him that he felt suicide was his only option.
I literally saw and spoke with him not even 48 hours before. I had no idea. Even looking back I still would never have guessed. For a while I felt guilty that I didn't ...
Having to break the news to his girlfriend, who was my roomie at the time, and to several close friends is by far one of the worst experiences of my life. An experience I hope never to have to repeat.
I think I'm still struggling to process and accept that he is gone ... It still seems so unreal. I still catch myself thinking I'll see him or wanting to share some little tidbit with him. I miss him. I miss his smile. I miss how loving and caring he was. I miss laughing with him. I miss giving him shit for smoking or working too much & overdoing it.
Some of us are angry with him, for making such a selfish choice. For hurting us. Some of us are numb, unable to deal with us. Many of us are profoundly saddened by the loss of someone whom we loved and cared for dearly. Some of us are confused, shocked ... All of us struggle to understand a decision that will never be explained. I'm a mix of all of these.
I don't know when or if this will ever make sense to me.
I miss you my friend. It still really hurts me that you left and that you felt there were no other options. I wish you had asked for help. I know you don't hurt any more, I hope one day I can say the same for me and the others you left behind. I love you little brother, I always will.
It was just two years ago that I lost someone very special to me. I called him my little brother and in my heart he was just that. I remember how obnoxious I thought he was, the first time I met him at a youth conference. He was loud, he was boastful, he was truly obnoxious! But he grew on me and even two years later I am still struggling to wrap my brain around how things hurt so bad for him that he felt suicide was his only option.
I literally saw and spoke with him not even 48 hours before. I had no idea. Even looking back I still would never have guessed. For a while I felt guilty that I didn't ...
Having to break the news to his girlfriend, who was my roomie at the time, and to several close friends is by far one of the worst experiences of my life. An experience I hope never to have to repeat.
I think I'm still struggling to process and accept that he is gone ... It still seems so unreal. I still catch myself thinking I'll see him or wanting to share some little tidbit with him. I miss him. I miss his smile. I miss how loving and caring he was. I miss laughing with him. I miss giving him shit for smoking or working too much & overdoing it.
Some of us are angry with him, for making such a selfish choice. For hurting us. Some of us are numb, unable to deal with us. Many of us are profoundly saddened by the loss of someone whom we loved and cared for dearly. Some of us are confused, shocked ... All of us struggle to understand a decision that will never be explained. I'm a mix of all of these.
I don't know when or if this will ever make sense to me.
I miss you my friend. It still really hurts me that you left and that you felt there were no other options. I wish you had asked for help. I know you don't hurt any more, I hope one day I can say the same for me and the others you left behind. I love you little brother, I always will.
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Lost
I've been struggling to blog, to have something to write about. So when I came across THIS POST with suggested writing prompts, I decided to give it a try.
Today's Topic: Something I've lost or given away that can never be replaced ...
The first thing that comes to mind is virginity :) Which makes me giggle, because I'm so mature like that. This is prolly TMI, but I'm sharing anyways. When I was younger I was so eager to get rid of it, to be all 'grown up'. I thought that it would be such an amazing and magical moment. Fireworks would go off, music would play, it would be life changing. Really, it was awkward and uncomfortable. I remember being so disappointed that it wasn't what I imagined and then I was worried that EVERYONE would know just by looking at me and I was freaked out that I would get pregnant (despite the use of protection). And yet, I was somewhat relieved that I had gotten it over with. I think if I could go back, I would prefer to have waited until I was a bit older, a bit more mature, and a bit more self-aware!
Another thing that comes to mind is my Titi Tony Bear. This was a coveted gift from an uncle. I loved that bear, it was pretty special to me. It had a wind-up on its back and played something (I can't for the life of me remember now what song it was). When I moved as a teen, I exchanged coveted toys with my best friend of the time. Not something I regret, but I often wonder what happened to my bear ...
Today's Topic: Something I've lost or given away that can never be replaced ...
The first thing that comes to mind is virginity :) Which makes me giggle, because I'm so mature like that. This is prolly TMI, but I'm sharing anyways. When I was younger I was so eager to get rid of it, to be all 'grown up'. I thought that it would be such an amazing and magical moment. Fireworks would go off, music would play, it would be life changing. Really, it was awkward and uncomfortable. I remember being so disappointed that it wasn't what I imagined and then I was worried that EVERYONE would know just by looking at me and I was freaked out that I would get pregnant (despite the use of protection). And yet, I was somewhat relieved that I had gotten it over with. I think if I could go back, I would prefer to have waited until I was a bit older, a bit more mature, and a bit more self-aware!
Another thing that comes to mind is my Titi Tony Bear. This was a coveted gift from an uncle. I loved that bear, it was pretty special to me. It had a wind-up on its back and played something (I can't for the life of me remember now what song it was). When I moved as a teen, I exchanged coveted toys with my best friend of the time. Not something I regret, but I often wonder what happened to my bear ...
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Happy New Year!
As 2011 comes to a close, I have been reflecting today about how blessed I have been in the past year and in my life. It's definitely not been a bed of roses, by any means, but I am blessed nonetheless.
I am very thankful for my family, both those related to me by blood and those who are family through choice ... You support me, you encourage me, you believe in me. It means a lot to me and I am thankful for you!
I am thankful that I have a meaningful job. It can be stressful and frustrating, but it is also rewarding. I learn something new every week and I most often feel like I'm making a small difference ...
I am thankful for my little apartment and that it is free of roomies. I continue to enjoy coming home to my place and space. I can relax and let my hair down. I'm thankful for that!
I am thankful for my parents, who instilled in me the value of volunteerism and being an active member of my community. I believe I have a greater sense of belonging here in part because of that. And volunteering has given me some very rich experiences and I have met some amazing individuals because of it. My childhood was not ideal, but this is one thing I treasure from it.
I am thankful for Ducky - He is a giant pain in my ass, but he makes me laugh and despite the passage of time, we never seem to run out of things to talk about.
I am thankful for everyone who helped support the Homeless Partners Christmas Wish List project again this year ... And especially thankful for a Christmas angel who came through unexpectedly and made a miracle happen :) Her actions were truly unexpected and very much appreciated. I'm thankful that everyone on the list here got something!
And finally, I'm thankful for the coming new year. I am excited for the new year and to see what new adventures and blessings it brings!
Wishing you all a healthy and happy 2012!
I am very thankful for my family, both those related to me by blood and those who are family through choice ... You support me, you encourage me, you believe in me. It means a lot to me and I am thankful for you!
I am thankful that I have a meaningful job. It can be stressful and frustrating, but it is also rewarding. I learn something new every week and I most often feel like I'm making a small difference ...
I am thankful for my little apartment and that it is free of roomies. I continue to enjoy coming home to my place and space. I can relax and let my hair down. I'm thankful for that!
I am thankful for my parents, who instilled in me the value of volunteerism and being an active member of my community. I believe I have a greater sense of belonging here in part because of that. And volunteering has given me some very rich experiences and I have met some amazing individuals because of it. My childhood was not ideal, but this is one thing I treasure from it.
I am thankful for Ducky - He is a giant pain in my ass, but he makes me laugh and despite the passage of time, we never seem to run out of things to talk about.
I am thankful for everyone who helped support the Homeless Partners Christmas Wish List project again this year ... And especially thankful for a Christmas angel who came through unexpectedly and made a miracle happen :) Her actions were truly unexpected and very much appreciated. I'm thankful that everyone on the list here got something!
And finally, I'm thankful for the coming new year. I am excited for the new year and to see what new adventures and blessings it brings!
Wishing you all a healthy and happy 2012!
Thursday, December 01, 2011
This is not okay!
I am so completely livid over this byline on the front page of the Kelowna Daily Courier today. It is completely disgusting, beyond disgusting even!
Here is this young person who has been VICTIMIZED and EXPLOITED by someone she should have been able to trust, her freaking grandparent! She has already experienced SEVERE TRAUMA and is now having to re-live all that again as she testifies against the person w ho did this to her ...
So what does the paper print? None other than a FRONT PAGE article entitled, "Girl has been in trouble for lying, court hears".
I'm so flabbergasted as to WHY this paper would use a title or byline that so blatantly makes it seem as though this young person has lied about the ABUSE she experienced. That makes it seem as though the girl is a horrible person that LIES. She is a victim of a most horrible and disgusting crime! She deserves RESPECT for having the courage to testify, because I can only imagine how traumatizing that must be. She should be PRAISED for this courage, not re-victimized and villianized for it.
I hope the paper prints a formal apology & re-tracts the headline. And I'm encouraging anyone who reads this blog to contact them & let them know that this blatant disregard for the VICTIM is not alright! Please use the contact link at the bottom of the links above to do so!
Here is this young person who has been VICTIMIZED and EXPLOITED by someone she should have been able to trust, her freaking grandparent! She has already experienced SEVERE TRAUMA and is now having to re-live all that again as she testifies against the person w ho did this to her ...
So what does the paper print? None other than a FRONT PAGE article entitled, "Girl has been in trouble for lying, court hears".
I'm so flabbergasted as to WHY this paper would use a title or byline that so blatantly makes it seem as though this young person has lied about the ABUSE she experienced. That makes it seem as though the girl is a horrible person that LIES. She is a victim of a most horrible and disgusting crime! She deserves RESPECT for having the courage to testify, because I can only imagine how traumatizing that must be. She should be PRAISED for this courage, not re-victimized and villianized for it.
I hope the paper prints a formal apology & re-tracts the headline. And I'm encouraging anyone who reads this blog to contact them & let them know that this blatant disregard for the VICTIM is not alright! Please use the contact link at the bottom of the links above to do so!
Wednesday, November 02, 2011
Sharon, Lois & Bram
Was having a conversation with Ducky recently about music growing up - I think music played a big part in my childhood. My childhood wasn't all sunshine, lollipops & rainbows by any means, but I do have fond memories of music growing up ...
My parents had an extensive & very varied record collection (at least to my memory). Kids music, classical music, country music, rock music, and even the Tijuana Brass Band! We had a guitar - and I know at some point I could strum out Silent Night which I've saldy forgotten - and later an organ. I never realized how odd the organ was until much later in my life. In a world where everyone & their dog played piano or had piano lessons, I had organ lessons to groan & moan over :) Of course there were also the recorders (teachers revenge on parents?) and band instruments (I played tenor sax). Finally, there was the singing - singing while driving on trips, singing around the house, singing at church ... I can't say I especially enjoyed church (especially the older I got & the more able to think for myself I was), but I did enjoy the music & still appreciate that aspect of any worship service (whatever my beliefs/choices are).
I still LOVE music. If I can take anything positive from my childhood (and there are a few things despite), one is a love & appreciation of music. I have a very varied (same have called manic) taste in music. I love to put my mp3 player on random and believe me the selection is just that! I love to sing - in the shower, in my car, at home, at work, in the grocery store (yes, I am THAT person). My choices sometimes reflect my mood, but mostly I enjoy the random of not knowing what song or even type of song will be next ...
Ducky grew up in a very different way - music wasn't really a big part of his growing up. They didn't have instruments or music lessons. They didn't sing together or anything like that ... He does talk fondly of his dad sometimes singing English pub songs, but music wasn't a big deal and even now he prefers a beat over the intricacies of the melody/harmony. I guess it seems strange to me with it having been (to me) a big part of my childhood. I guess I'm lucky!
I watch my sister share her love of music with her kidlets and enjoy seeing that they too have a very varied taste in music & have dabbled with instruments. It is nice to see that love continued and passed on ...
What role did music play in your childhood? And how did it impact you current tastes in music?
Here is a link for a little Sharon, Lois & Bram in honour of my childhood & a record we had (and loved) growing up!
My parents had an extensive & very varied record collection (at least to my memory). Kids music, classical music, country music, rock music, and even the Tijuana Brass Band! We had a guitar - and I know at some point I could strum out Silent Night which I've saldy forgotten - and later an organ. I never realized how odd the organ was until much later in my life. In a world where everyone & their dog played piano or had piano lessons, I had organ lessons to groan & moan over :) Of course there were also the recorders (teachers revenge on parents?) and band instruments (I played tenor sax). Finally, there was the singing - singing while driving on trips, singing around the house, singing at church ... I can't say I especially enjoyed church (especially the older I got & the more able to think for myself I was), but I did enjoy the music & still appreciate that aspect of any worship service (whatever my beliefs/choices are).
I still LOVE music. If I can take anything positive from my childhood (and there are a few things despite), one is a love & appreciation of music. I have a very varied (same have called manic) taste in music. I love to put my mp3 player on random and believe me the selection is just that! I love to sing - in the shower, in my car, at home, at work, in the grocery store (yes, I am THAT person). My choices sometimes reflect my mood, but mostly I enjoy the random of not knowing what song or even type of song will be next ...
Ducky grew up in a very different way - music wasn't really a big part of his growing up. They didn't have instruments or music lessons. They didn't sing together or anything like that ... He does talk fondly of his dad sometimes singing English pub songs, but music wasn't a big deal and even now he prefers a beat over the intricacies of the melody/harmony. I guess it seems strange to me with it having been (to me) a big part of my childhood. I guess I'm lucky!
I watch my sister share her love of music with her kidlets and enjoy seeing that they too have a very varied taste in music & have dabbled with instruments. It is nice to see that love continued and passed on ...
What role did music play in your childhood? And how did it impact you current tastes in music?
Here is a link for a little Sharon, Lois & Bram in honour of my childhood & a record we had (and loved) growing up!
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Warning, I'm going to talk politics!
So, I went to a candidates forum (civic election) tonight ... We have over 40 candidates running for 1 mayor and 8 councillor seats. Such a tough choice! It's going to be tough to make up my mind.
I sat at a table with a homeless man and two seniors at the event tonight - We couldn't have been any different! Was a night of many different perspectives, at the forum and at the little table I sat at.
All of the candidates seem very passionate about their platforms and beliefs. Some spoke well and others were less polished. I listened carefully to what each had to say and took notes, but I also watched how each interacted with the other candidates and others around them. I noticed some things that raised red flags for me. Example, one candidate sat in a way that forced the person beside him or her to cram into a corner & almost off their seat. This same candidate, when glasses of water were being passed out refused to pass a glass. Little things, but I think they are clues to a person and how well they might work as a team player (or not). Many talked out of their asses, but many had thoughtful things to say.
It was a very interesting night ... I have made up my mind about a few individuals Iwill not vote for, but I'm not decided who I will be voting for. I really hope to be able to attend more candidate meetings!
I sat at a table with a homeless man and two seniors at the event tonight - We couldn't have been any different! Was a night of many different perspectives, at the forum and at the little table I sat at.
All of the candidates seem very passionate about their platforms and beliefs. Some spoke well and others were less polished. I listened carefully to what each had to say and took notes, but I also watched how each interacted with the other candidates and others around them. I noticed some things that raised red flags for me. Example, one candidate sat in a way that forced the person beside him or her to cram into a corner & almost off their seat. This same candidate, when glasses of water were being passed out refused to pass a glass. Little things, but I think they are clues to a person and how well they might work as a team player (or not). Many talked out of their asses, but many had thoughtful things to say.
It was a very interesting night ... I have made up my mind about a few individuals Iwill not vote for, but I'm not decided who I will be voting for. I really hope to be able to attend more candidate meetings!
Monday, August 15, 2011
Choose Me!
I've been struggling with a big decision for a while now ... Mulling it over, turning it over & over in my mind trying to figure out what the right choice for me is ...
It's funny, I've been whacking my head against the wall & fretting so much that I didn't realize the answer was there all along. Duh!
This weekend I stopped & thought about my inability to make a choice about school ... And that perhaps this was the answer all along. Maybe it's just not right for me 'right now'.
And now that I've come to that realization, I feel like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders ... I kept saying that my gut (intuition, whatever you want to call it wasn't talking, but it sure was! I just wasn't able to hear it. And now it seems so glaringly obvious :)
One of my Indigenous Studies courses talked a lot about our 'ah-ha' moments - I can't remember the word used anymore, but I definitely had one of those!
So no graduate studies for me in 2012 ... Perhaps 2013 :)
It's funny, I've been whacking my head against the wall & fretting so much that I didn't realize the answer was there all along. Duh!
This weekend I stopped & thought about my inability to make a choice about school ... And that perhaps this was the answer all along. Maybe it's just not right for me 'right now'.
And now that I've come to that realization, I feel like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders ... I kept saying that my gut (intuition, whatever you want to call it wasn't talking, but it sure was! I just wasn't able to hear it. And now it seems so glaringly obvious :)
One of my Indigenous Studies courses talked a lot about our 'ah-ha' moments - I can't remember the word used anymore, but I definitely had one of those!
So no graduate studies for me in 2012 ... Perhaps 2013 :)
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Saturday, July 23, 2011
I feel like I'm at a crossroads and I have no idea which direction I'm going to go! There are so many things to figure out first and it's kind of daunting ... I know I just need to break it all down into smaller chunks & tackle one at a time, but even that seems daunting right now! I feel like my life is a big giant question mark right now ... And yet it is a bit exciting (but still a bit scary) knowing I could go in a few different directions :)
Thursday, July 07, 2011
4 Years Ago
Four years ago today my life took a drastic change ... one minute I was on vacation, getting some much needed r&r, and the next my whole reality was torn apart. I never could have imagined it possible.
Today, four years later, I retraced my steps & returned to the place things changed ... I am emotionally exhausted, wrung out, done ... I think I could add that to my list of 'one of the hardest things I've ever done'. I think if I had been alone, I would have chickened out. I don't think I could have been brave enough. As it was, it was very difficult to keep calm ... But I did it.
I WILL NEVER DO IT AGAIN! As much as I feel like it was something I needed to do, I'm glad its over with & I hope its at least another 4 years before I see that spot again ...
I spent a few hours in an old growth forest after, to re-ground myself & calm back down.
This trip has been wonderful & horrible all at the same time ... Its hard not to imagine how different things may have been if that day didn't happen 4 years ago. Will I ever get back to how I was before?
Today, four years later, I retraced my steps & returned to the place things changed ... I am emotionally exhausted, wrung out, done ... I think I could add that to my list of 'one of the hardest things I've ever done'. I think if I had been alone, I would have chickened out. I don't think I could have been brave enough. As it was, it was very difficult to keep calm ... But I did it.
I WILL NEVER DO IT AGAIN! As much as I feel like it was something I needed to do, I'm glad its over with & I hope its at least another 4 years before I see that spot again ...
I spent a few hours in an old growth forest after, to re-ground myself & calm back down.
This trip has been wonderful & horrible all at the same time ... Its hard not to imagine how different things may have been if that day didn't happen 4 years ago. Will I ever get back to how I was before?
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Mindlessness
"Mindlessness is the ability to accept things without thought simply because they are familiar. Mindlessness is the condition of going through life without ever questioning the right or wrong of general custom. It is seeing things that frequently are wrong in the moral sense and ignoring the wrongness purely because it has become so familiar that we are no longer aware of it -- or because, were we to notice it and pay attention, we would be forced to do something to change it. That is mindlessness."
~Jack Whyte, from The Forest Laird
~Jack Whyte, from The Forest Laird
Saturday, May 28, 2011
The Forest Laird
I was pretty excited when I got an email from the library this week letting me know that it was my turn to read Jack Whyte's latest book, The Forest Laird ... I enjoy his historical fiction books.
This rarely happens, but I have to say he had me hooked in the first paragraph:
This rarely happens, but I have to say he had me hooked in the first paragraph:
"It pains me to hear people say nowadays that William Wallace died defiant, a heroic patriot, with a shout of 'Freedom!' on his lips, because it is a lie. William Wallace died slowly and brutally in silence, to my sure knowledge, for I was there in London's Smithfield Square that morning of August 24th in 1305, and all I heard of defiance was the final, demented scream of a broken, tortured man driven beyond endurance long before he died."And that's just the prologue! I love how visually Mr. Whyte writes and have read all of the books he's written so far. This book doesn't disappoint and is a total page turner ... I just started it (when I woke up before 6am today) and am already a few hundred pages in! So if you're looking for a good read, check this one out :)
Monday, April 11, 2011
Tuesday, April 05, 2011
Get out and vote please!
If you live in Canada, please take the time to educate yourself about your options and what each party stands for/has to offer. Please don't base your decision strictly on the opinions of others! It doesn't take long to educate yourself (check out party websites, attend a debate, use the CBC voting compass, etc.) ... This is so important and it impacts you in a LOT of ways!
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